just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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