He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
