nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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