dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
