Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
