This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
