found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize