You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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