Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would fuck him just for his dog
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
