remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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