So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
