brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
