We got so high we made milksteak
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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