I think i peed on brittanys purse
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
