Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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