yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
