he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
