No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize