its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
