I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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