I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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