I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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