I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
