You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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