We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
