you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
