yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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