First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
