I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
