god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
