Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
