I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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