I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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