dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize