I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
