i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
