My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
