so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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