This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
