she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
