Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
