Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
even my farts smell like vagina
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
