As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize