Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
