where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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