I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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