I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
