im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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