At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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