so let's talk penis.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
