Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
