That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
