I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There are leaves in my underwear?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
