Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
