I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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