thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
