i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
