: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
