ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
