what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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