so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
