I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
